Will turned 7 this week and it got me thinking about the most impactful things I’ve learned in motherhood (a series - Part 1 here).
Over the last two years, I’ve dove deep into my mother relationship, primarily centering on connection to my inner child and healing my wounds so that I can be less triggered by own children (or at the very least have more awareness around why I’m feeling that way).
Below are the big impact bombs that have changed the way I live + mother:
#1: I spoke of my difficulty of ‘holding space’ for my children to my intuitive Lillian Savoie and she told me that it wasn’t my job to *hold* what they’re going through, but rather to just witness.
The holding I was doing meant taking ON their energy, making it mine (which influenced being triggered). The witnessing meant that I could be with them, let their emotions be, without it impacting my own emotional state + energy field. I also began using this Energy Release Meditation to help strengthen my energetic boundaries.
#2: Dr. Shefali taught me that while I am a steward and support Will and Felix, my children are not mine. An extension of my heart, yes, but they are separate and sovereign beings, who I am here to love + nurture, but not control, use for my own fulfillment or status as a ‘good mother’. This ‘separation’ allows their actions to be their own, versus part of me (or even feeling like they are a reflection of how 'well' I am doing).
#3: Sarah Jenks taught me to define my own brand of motherhood. In almost every way, the way I desire to feel in motherhood takes me into actions that are against the grain to cultural conditioning of what makes a ‘good mother’ or what comes with being so - like the sacrifice of self + dreams, loss of passion, sexiness + pleasure, existing in an exhausted + depleted state versus being nourished and doing everything (aka the superwoman complex). My own brand assesses what matters to me, and how I must resource myself to allow my best self to show up for the gift and task of mothering.
#4: Rochelle of Innate Traditions (in her Physiologic Baby course) informed me that from ages 0-3 children co-regulate their nervous systems solely off their mothers, from 3-7 years old off close family + caretakers, unable to fully regulate themselves until around age 12. Meaning: the state of *my* nervous system (stressed, anxious, fearful or at ease) + my level of self-care (nourished or depleted) directly impacts how my children feel (safe + secure) in their bodies and how they experience life. 🤯
Integrating these learnings has transformed my experience as a mother.
Have you learned this medicine too?
Tell me, does #1, 2, 3 or 4 intrigue you most?